coloring the triangle

look what I'm doing right now. seems like I'm going to be a primary school student and not a teacher

inisiasi (lagi)

inisiasi di kampusku itu ga cuma 1 kali tapi 3 kali. inisiasi universitas (insadha), inisiasi fakultas (infisa) dan inisiasi prodi (insipro). minggu lalu kita baru aja infisa dan rasanya jadi legaaa banget. tinggal 1 lagi kewajiban inisiasi yaitu insipro. dan insipro itu nginep di pantai..... T__T

infisa udah sekesai tinggal insipro.. dan tanpa disadari insipronya itu minggu depan.. even less than a week!! matilah gue.. I have to prepare my self well.. I will be sleeping in a tent for 3 days! yang paling parah adalah harus ngelawan panasnya terik matahari di siang dan dinginnya hembusan angin di malam hari..... well, lets hope nothing bad happen to me. to us..

(another) what if

aransemen
seandainya video ini keupload dan berhasil di link ke web snmptn 6 bulan lalu.... I won't be here and willing to be a primary teacher..... if only.....

I messed up

I got an audition for campus choir yesterday. I was too excited that I can't chose what song to sing. I even changed the song a minute before they called my name. and the worst thing is I messed up my interview... T___T they asked me "how sure you could make it and join this choir" I was shaking and thought every single number that I could say but I said "60%" .... and I felt sad about it. I should said more! hmmmm...
I hope I could get in there. I just really really want to join them. I hope I could......... now the last thing that I can do is waiting and pray

I'm fed up! *hoek*

inisiasi fakultas hari kedua awalnya asik tapi di tengah2 gue jadi muak. muak dengan segala sebutan guru yang menggema di mana2. dan paling parah waktu talk show ditanga "siapa di sini yang gak mau jadi guru" dan otomatis tangan ini langsung melambai di atas kepala diiringi dengan lirikan dan bisikan sebelah2 gue.
Ya, it's a real thing. I don't want any of this. guru, apalagi guru sd. oh gawd, beneran ga seru dan ga berkembang. semuanya bilang jadilah guru kreatif. but in a real world, teacher will still be a teacher. nothing good happens for teachers..... I hope someday, ya someday I will find a way to be myself or at least I'll find a way to prove that I'm wrong

jadi guru (?)

dan ini serius, dipikiranku jadi guru itu hanya 0.5% bisa jadi nyata. gue, bentukan kayak gini mau jadi guru? ya.. I don't think I can handle kids. dan di inisiasi fakultasku itu aku merasa kalo kita disiapin banget jadi guru. the real thing is who knows the future? maybe some of us later won't be a teacher. maybe something else. ya, mungkin semua pada nanya "kalo lo ga mau jadi guru kenapa ambil FKIP gi?"
ya, you can read my lastest post. I just don't really want this. can I get what I really want?

gia yang sekarang adalah gia yang udah sadar kalo mungkin ini emang udah jalan hidupnya buat jadi seorang guru. maybe not a good one, but I'll try. :) at least I make my mom proud of me.... hehe
kuliah udah hampir dua minggu dan rasanya tuh bosen.. apa yang udah dipelajarin di fisika, mat dan bio SMA kembali di ulang di kuliah (minus ulangan ngejelimet, pr seabrek, laporan praktikum tiap minggu sih).. tapi ya ada hal-hal baru juga kayak aku belajar perkembangan peserta didik, terus belajar menulis indah dankerajinan tangan, terus juga belajar logika. ya mungkin ga terlalu menantang, tapi aku lumayan sudah menerima kodratku di sini.... music and design will wait until I become S.Pd :)

Here comes bestfriends

Actually I made last post in the middle of the night when I didn’t have any internet connection. Yeah, I’ve forgot about that thing. I’ll try to be a teacher. No, this is serious.

My bestfriends are the best! They got me and give me a lot of spirit. LOVE MY BESTFRIENDS! Dan gia yang sekarang udah ga galau lagi masalah desain dan musik. I’ll become a good singer one day, or I could design my own blog, even now. Jadi ga ada masalah lagi. Semua bisa dilakuin sementara aku menata hidup untuk jadi seorang guru. “be a good teacher” that’s what’s one of my friends say. Mungkin ada jalan lain buat mewujudkan impian. :) bahkan ga semua temenku dapet apa yang mereka mau. Ya, setidaknya I’ve told them. Semoga aja gia yang ini ga bakal bertindak bodoh dan ngundurin diri dari kuliah (amit-amit deh). I’ve told you I’ll try. Dan aku harap percobaan itu ga bakal berhenti. Terus mencoba sampai berhasil jadi..... guru (*nangis dalem hati*)...... tapi apapun itu, yang penting aku punya banyak orang yang dukung aku. So nice to hear them speak to me. They just care... Well, that’s what’s friends are for :))

Mahasiswa (?)

Just never imagine this. Mahasiswa itu... rasanya jauh dari bayangan gue. Mungkin karena what I’ve chose is not the one I really want. Music and design. Semua mimpiku untuk jadi penyanyi dan desainer gravis terkenal kandas sudah. I won’t produce my own song, I won’t design blogs....

I will.......... teach

It’s hard to me to accept that everyone seems like walking on their way to success, and I... I just don’t want to walk in this way. I want my own way.

Oh GOD, I hope my mom and dad won’t read this post. 

What ifs

I’ve been thinking about this lately. Is there any possibilities to rewind back the time? I really want to do that. I think I made a wrong choise. I’m gonna go back and go with:

“What if I chose design or music. Anything that I always felt comfotable with?”

I know it’s impossible but its hurt everytime they ask me what I’m on with and I have to pretend that I love being here. With these ‘future’s teacher’ things. I want to be myself. I don’t want to stand behind other people dreams like this. I’ve been lying a lot. Even to myself. Why am I doing this to myself? I don’t want this... I want my dreams to come true. And now, my dream is in the other way. And I take a way which make me further from my dream. Something inside me just scream everytime I look at other people who play music and design something. Teacher (?) is it what you really want to be, gi? Seems I lose myself in the middle of wrong way. I’ve cried a lot of times and still feel not okay.

What’s more important? My dream or other’s happiness (?) can’t decide one.....

Insadha 2013

So, this is my first experience. Hari pertama itu ya datar banget. Rasanya pengen cepet2 pulang.... males banget ikut karena boring banget. Hari kedua juga masih agak boring. Tapi hari terakhir, everything changed. This is seriously fun! Haha.... siapa yang nyangka seorang gia langsung bisa cepet adaptasi. 3 days, that’s a new record! Hehe.. found a lot of new friends, and they are nice. J dan yang paling seru itu pas latian untuk nampilin sesuatu buat malem inagurasi. We’re prepared well. Tapi ya, kita ga bisa maju ke panggung. Ga papa, menurutku dengan audisi aja udah cukup menghibur. Hehe...... ya, sejak saat itu nama ‘gia operator’ jadi ngelekat gitu sama aku. Aku kan megang audio, which always I did in high school. Hehe. So glad to prepared everything about music, which is fun for me. Bahkan ada yang sampe ngira aku anak TI (teknik informatika). Hahaha. Yeah, become a primary teacher is not my dream actually. So, back to the topic. Inagurasi itu emang seru. Walau awalnya juga bosen. Hehe. Keliling2 ngeliat UKM dan bener2 ga terlalu excited. Of course I’ll try my best to become cantus firmus choir’s alto singer. I hope I could be a part of them! Tapi plan B ya karawitan dan karate. Imagine me, doing karate. Hahahahah! Tapi yang paling seru adalah malem puncak.. siapa sangka kalo kembang apinya itu nyenengin banget. Dan seorang gia bisa teriak2 kayak nonton konser. WOW! saaaaluuuuuttttt

Dan yang lebih nyenengin lagi waktu pake jas almamater dan mengan lilin yang nyala... wuaaaaah rasanya itu, nyeeees gitu. Aku yang tadinya ga mau masuk sadhar jadi sedikit lebih mikir kenapa aku bisa bangga untuk kuliah di sini. This is my home, and I will always proud of this! :)))

 so, this is my new day...... PGSD SANATA DHARMA 2013