gia yang sekarang adalah gia yang udah sadar kalo mungkin ini emang udah jalan hidupnya buat jadi seorang guru. maybe not a good one, but I'll try. :) at least I make my mom proud of me.... hehe
kuliah udah hampir dua minggu dan rasanya tuh bosen.. apa yang udah dipelajarin di fisika, mat dan bio SMA kembali di ulang di kuliah (minus ulangan ngejelimet, pr seabrek, laporan praktikum tiap minggu sih).. tapi ya ada hal-hal baru juga kayak aku belajar perkembangan peserta didik, terus belajar menulis indah dankerajinan tangan, terus juga belajar logika. ya mungkin ga terlalu menantang, tapi aku lumayan sudah menerima kodratku di sini.... music and design will wait until I become S.Pd :)

Here comes bestfriends

Actually I made last post in the middle of the night when I didn’t have any internet connection. Yeah, I’ve forgot about that thing. I’ll try to be a teacher. No, this is serious.

My bestfriends are the best! They got me and give me a lot of spirit. LOVE MY BESTFRIENDS! Dan gia yang sekarang udah ga galau lagi masalah desain dan musik. I’ll become a good singer one day, or I could design my own blog, even now. Jadi ga ada masalah lagi. Semua bisa dilakuin sementara aku menata hidup untuk jadi seorang guru. “be a good teacher” that’s what’s one of my friends say. Mungkin ada jalan lain buat mewujudkan impian. :) bahkan ga semua temenku dapet apa yang mereka mau. Ya, setidaknya I’ve told them. Semoga aja gia yang ini ga bakal bertindak bodoh dan ngundurin diri dari kuliah (amit-amit deh). I’ve told you I’ll try. Dan aku harap percobaan itu ga bakal berhenti. Terus mencoba sampai berhasil jadi..... guru (*nangis dalem hati*)...... tapi apapun itu, yang penting aku punya banyak orang yang dukung aku. So nice to hear them speak to me. They just care... Well, that’s what’s friends are for :))

Mahasiswa (?)

Just never imagine this. Mahasiswa itu... rasanya jauh dari bayangan gue. Mungkin karena what I’ve chose is not the one I really want. Music and design. Semua mimpiku untuk jadi penyanyi dan desainer gravis terkenal kandas sudah. I won’t produce my own song, I won’t design blogs....

I will.......... teach

It’s hard to me to accept that everyone seems like walking on their way to success, and I... I just don’t want to walk in this way. I want my own way.

Oh GOD, I hope my mom and dad won’t read this post. 

What ifs

I’ve been thinking about this lately. Is there any possibilities to rewind back the time? I really want to do that. I think I made a wrong choise. I’m gonna go back and go with:

“What if I chose design or music. Anything that I always felt comfotable with?”

I know it’s impossible but its hurt everytime they ask me what I’m on with and I have to pretend that I love being here. With these ‘future’s teacher’ things. I want to be myself. I don’t want to stand behind other people dreams like this. I’ve been lying a lot. Even to myself. Why am I doing this to myself? I don’t want this... I want my dreams to come true. And now, my dream is in the other way. And I take a way which make me further from my dream. Something inside me just scream everytime I look at other people who play music and design something. Teacher (?) is it what you really want to be, gi? Seems I lose myself in the middle of wrong way. I’ve cried a lot of times and still feel not okay.

What’s more important? My dream or other’s happiness (?) can’t decide one.....

Insadha 2013

So, this is my first experience. Hari pertama itu ya datar banget. Rasanya pengen cepet2 pulang.... males banget ikut karena boring banget. Hari kedua juga masih agak boring. Tapi hari terakhir, everything changed. This is seriously fun! Haha.... siapa yang nyangka seorang gia langsung bisa cepet adaptasi. 3 days, that’s a new record! Hehe.. found a lot of new friends, and they are nice. J dan yang paling seru itu pas latian untuk nampilin sesuatu buat malem inagurasi. We’re prepared well. Tapi ya, kita ga bisa maju ke panggung. Ga papa, menurutku dengan audisi aja udah cukup menghibur. Hehe...... ya, sejak saat itu nama ‘gia operator’ jadi ngelekat gitu sama aku. Aku kan megang audio, which always I did in high school. Hehe. So glad to prepared everything about music, which is fun for me. Bahkan ada yang sampe ngira aku anak TI (teknik informatika). Hahaha. Yeah, become a primary teacher is not my dream actually. So, back to the topic. Inagurasi itu emang seru. Walau awalnya juga bosen. Hehe. Keliling2 ngeliat UKM dan bener2 ga terlalu excited. Of course I’ll try my best to become cantus firmus choir’s alto singer. I hope I could be a part of them! Tapi plan B ya karawitan dan karate. Imagine me, doing karate. Hahahahah! Tapi yang paling seru adalah malem puncak.. siapa sangka kalo kembang apinya itu nyenengin banget. Dan seorang gia bisa teriak2 kayak nonton konser. WOW! saaaaluuuuuttttt

Dan yang lebih nyenengin lagi waktu pake jas almamater dan mengan lilin yang nyala... wuaaaaah rasanya itu, nyeeees gitu. Aku yang tadinya ga mau masuk sadhar jadi sedikit lebih mikir kenapa aku bisa bangga untuk kuliah di sini. This is my home, and I will always proud of this! :)))

 so, this is my new day...... PGSD SANATA DHARMA 2013 

Big Apple bites

so this is me, sitting in the sofa and thinking about tomorrow. worried. and really want to go there. hmmmmm
i'm affraid. I don't know why but I just don't want to make my parent sad... I want to make them proud
so, I'll go to jogja and study as hard as I could
as this apple fulls me, I hope I could make my parents satisfied

when I decided to change my memories

ini sebenernya bermula dari tweet. one of my friend say that she remember something every time she come into a place. gue sih langsung nyeletuk aja tanpa basa basi. tapi yang dia lakukan itu malah lebih frontal. I don't know why but I felt curious. and as that happened I know that someone has removed me as a friend.

just think about this thing:

if something doesn't hurt you or disturb you that much, you won't remove or unfollow someone right? and this is happened to me. so my question is what happened? am I too disturbing to be even a friend in a social media?

at the and of the day, I just think about something that I won't recall that time when I met everyone there. just pretend that I don't even know them. I hope I won't disturb anyone again so other people won't remove me like this.

new life (?)

hari ini gue sendirian di rumah. dan tiba2 gue jadi keinget asrama... asrama yang selalu tenang dan damai. hehe I really miss my life in my dorm. awalnya emang gue homesick terus tapi lama2.. great things happened a lot. gue dapet kakak kelas dan temen2 yang bisa ngubah hidup gue seketika.

sedih banget ya ternyata harus pindah dari asrama. rasanya tuh ada yang beda aja. apalagi banyak banget temen2ku yang kuliahnya ga di jogja.... padahal gue berharap banget bisa bareng mereka lagi.. tapi ya, at least they got what they really want.

sekarang gue cuma lagi mikir kalo itu berarti di jogja gue bakal memulai hidup baru (ceileeh).. di tempat kost baru, tempat kuliah yang asing, temen2 baru.. apalagi dari stece yng masuk pgsd sejauh pengamatan gue cuma gue doang!!! bayangin... betapa merananya. tapi ga papa. we'll see, what will happen in my new life :)

I didn't get what I really want

ya.. you know that I really hope that I could study in state university. but that just won't happen. masuk swasta itu...... ya, won't make me jump or something but I just smile when I get in there.... at least I know what to do there. even I don't like children
tapi ya sudahlah.. I just want to make my parents proud. that's hard since I didn't get what I want but its okay. I think God has another good plan for me :)
see ya at Elementary teachers major at Sanata Dharma Jogjakarta

jobless girl

ya, that's me. sekarang gue bener2 jadi orang yang ga punya kerjaan. ternyata sangat kacau. I'm getting fatter! tapi ga papa. this is a REAL holiday!
by the way, kemaren sabtu aku beli kebaya. repoooot banget milihnya. tapi akhirnya hasil pilihan mama yang warna ungu dibeli juga. dan bahagianya juga sekalian beli bawahannya dan sepatunya. yang msih bingung adalah mau diapain ni rambut. yang jelas I will say no to sanggul! males banget dikata orang mau nikahan kali. at least udah dapet jadi legaa banget.
tanggal 23 nanti aku balik jogja. rasanya bingung abis ini mau ke mana lagi... cari kost! that's the most important one!

holiday!!!

ya.. gue udah seminggu lebih melewati yang namanya UN! walaupun sedikit mengecewakan karena soalnya SUSAH banget at least I've done my best! hahahaha
so now, I'm home and getting fatter everyday. gapapalah. diet is not suitable for holiday! so after this post, I think I might post every step that I take after highschool.
*pray for my graduation! and SNMPTN.. amin dah keterima UNY... amiiiiin